What Is a Flare Up? 💛🎗🌻

Happy Monday Friends!  Look at me with already four blog posts in July!  (I'm on a roll!)  And you're probably getting sick of me at this point, but here I am.  Today I'm back with yet another endometriosis post.  I wanted to write something specifically for flare-ups.  I never even knew these existed until these past few months... but boy, do they explain a few things in my life.  I touched upon them when I first told you about my diagnosis, but I wanted to dive in a little bit more.  Talking about them with my symptoms didn't seem right... because when I was working to get a diagnosis, I didn't even know flare-ups were a thing.  But now that you all know that I have endometriosis, and that I have all of the symptoms for it... I thought it was time to dive a bit deeper.  So... what is a flare up?

An endometriosis flare-up, or "endo flare-up" is a period of time when endometriosis symptoms get more intense and severe than usual.  Your pain and other symptoms become much more extreme and you have no idea how long it will last.  I could last a few hours, it could last days, it could last weeks.

The hard part is that many things can trigger a flare-up.  It could be caused by hormonal fluctuations, stress, sleep disturbances or inflammation in the body.  There are things you can try to avoid, like inflammatory foods.  But things like hormonal fluctuations are completely out of your control so you just have to buckle up for the ride.

The past few months, I've been learning new things about my disease everyday.  And as I learn more, things keep clicking inside of my head.  Suddenly, things that I've experienced over the past few years are actually making much more sense to me.

One thing I've learned is that flare-up triggers are different for everyone.  My personal triggers- that I've identified so far- appear to be certain foods, stress and tight clothing.

Food- This has been the hardest trigger to pinpoint.  Some days, certain foods bother me and the next day I'll be fine.  I'm still being very careful with what I eat.  I'm trying to limit inflammatory foods- red meat, processed meat, sugary drinks, and fried foods; but I haven't totally cut them out.  And I'd like to mention that it's pretty dang hard when our local sport teams don't offer much other than hot dogs, pizza, fries and burgers.  (Let's not get me started on that tangent though...) Overall, I've cut down on sugar and fried foods.  Instead, I'm eating a lot more fruits, vegetables, seeds and nuts.

Stress- This is hard because everyone has some form of stress in their life.  But I've identified a few flare-ups that I now know I experienced in the past... and I was in some very stressful situations during those times.  Because of that, I've adopted a very strict frame of mind for myself regarding stress.  I try very hard not to stress about things.  I've even started to meditate when necessary.  Deep breathing to center myself has become one of my greatest tools.

Tight Clothing- I've been struggling with this forever.  My shorts have always caused me stomach pain... which never made sense to me because they weren't tight.  But I've realized where they hit right under my belly button is a sensitive area.  Unfortunately, that's where pretty much all pants hit.  I haven't actually worn jeans in years.  Even my leggings have been unbearable recently.  My fleece leggings are more stretchy, but we've had some uncomfortable moments together as well.  Which is why I finally turned to maternity shorts.  They were literally the only thing I could think of that wouldn't touch my stomach in all of the places that hurt.  And I have to admit that I've been feeling much better in this regard since switching pants.

I'm really proud of myself with how hard I've been trying to take care of myself.  It has been a lot of extra mental work for me (hello endo mental gymnastics) but it's been worth it to not be spending every minute of every day in bed.  However, your period & hormones can cause flare-ups too... so I'm never really out of the woods.

I can tell you that the flare-ups I know I've had have been excruciating.  Also, heads up, we're entering the TMI zone again now... so read at your own risk.

I think the absolute worst flare-up I had was when I was constipated over that Memorial Day Weekend at my parents' house.  I was in so much pain.  Everyone in the entire house knew about it... because I was quite literally in agony.  I was so upset because at the time, I had no idea what was causing the constipation.  My Mom gave me some of her pills she had to take after heart surgery, and even those didn't help.  I was quite literally praying to God one night to simply fart.  Just one little fart.  Something, anything to relieve the pressure in my stomach.  Eliot rubbed my back forever... nothing helped.  When I was finally able to poop days later, I almost cried because I was so relieved.

Since then, Eliot and I have joked that Chipotle and McDonald's are what's for dinner if I'm ever feeling backed up.  But in all seriousness, we've specifically had Chipotle or McDonald's a few times since that weekend due to me being concerned about backed up bowel movements.  I don't ever want to go through that agony again.

Another time I think I had a flare-up was my most recent case of covid last September.  I was miserably sick... and way worse off than Eliot.  I ended up getting up around midnight on our wedding anniversary because my stomach really hurt.  I was hot... so freaking hot.  I went to the toilet thinking I needed to go to the bathroom... and I literally felt sick to my stomach.  The pain was so bad that it was causing me to feel nauseous.  At that point, I was so hot that I thought you might be able to cook eggs on my back.  I stripped down totally naked and it still didn't help.

The next thing I knew, I was throwing up.  And it was awful.  I've never felt so out of control of my own body.  I sat right there, naked on the toilet, throwing up over and over in the bucket while my entire body felt like it was completely on fire.  My stomach was cramping horribly.  That was one of the times I almost had Eliot take me to the hospital.  Calling an ambulance also crossed my mind... because I had no idea what my body was doing.  Thankfully, after a few awful minutes, I stopped being sick and things started to regulate for me again.  But it was incredibly scary.

Since being diagnosed with endometriosis, I've also realized multiple times when I thought that I've had "food poisoning", it was much more likely that they were all endo flare-ups.  I had "food poisoning" two Christmases in a row... yet I ate the same food as everyone else, and I'm the only one who got sick.  There was also that time I got sick when I was in Trenton helping Mom and Dad over tax season one year.  That was the time Eliot ended up passing out at work and I couldn't even go home to him because I was too busy throwing up most of the day.  Then, there was the time I had Olive Garden with Mom and Dad while they were in Portland for a work trip.  I was so sick the next day and blamed it on the food.

I actually cut pasta and red sauce out of my life for at least six months.  I had spaghetti during one of the Christmas "food poisoning" incidents.  And it was just a few days prior that I had the ravioli and red sauce at Olive Garden.  At the time, I was convinced that it was food poisoning, or that my body was suddenly allergic to one of them.  Eliot and I flew out to San Jose to visit his parents about two months after those incidents and we went to the Spaghetti Factory for dinner.  It killed me because I forced myself to eat a salad while everyone else around me was chowing down on pasta.  Months later, I finally decided to slowly re-introduce pasta and red sauce into my life... and I was fine.

None of these incidents ever fully made sense to me at the time.  Sure, I'd find a logical reason to explain them... covid caused my body to completely spaz.  Maybe I had food poisoning or I was suddenly allergic to sauce and pasta.  But it never sat right with me.

Then, I was diagnosed with endometriosis.  I started doing research about it.  I joined a support group and learned more about how it affected other women.  Another girl had a flare-up and she was also burning hot like fire.  Other girls had horrific incidents where they were throwing up and they don't know what caused it.  Suddenly, everything suddenly clicked into place.  It's like a light switch was turned on and it all finally made sense.  All of these random things were likely flare-ups... and I just never knew it.

Plus it also explained why I've felt like a giant balloon some days.  Something I haven't mentioned yet is "endo belly".  I've mentioned the bloating, but I haven't talked about how you can swell up like a balloon- whether you're in a flare-up or not.  I'm not tiny to begin with, so thankfully it's not as extreme for me as it is for other girls.  But there are days when I feel like a pregnant whale.  I have been beating myself up for so long.  I lost a bunch of weight and I didn't feel like I could tell when I looked in the mirror.  Looks aren't everything... because I'd much rather feel healthy again.  But I do think it will be interesting to see what I look like after surgery and the endo lesions and cyst are gone.

So for now, I'm just strapping in for my endometriosis roller coaster ride.  I'm doing everything in my power to eat healthy, get plenty of rest, wear endo-friendly clothing and do all the things to keep the flare-ups at bay.  And I don't want to jinx myself... but for the most part, it seems to be working.  Here's hoping I can keep it that way!!! 💛🎗🌻