World Mental Health Day 2026 🧡💙❤️💜💛💚

✨ Today is World Mental Health Day. ✨ 

If there’s anything I have learned over the past few years, it’s that there’s nothing more important than your mental health and making sure you prioritize your own needs. 💕 

I have always been a helper, a people-pleaser and a go-beyonder.  If someone needed help, I was right there to lend a hand, lend an ear, or lend a shoulder to cry on.  But over the past few years, I've realized that is not serving me.  I've been the one needing someone else to lend me a hand, to lend me an ear and lend me a shoulder to cry on.

And the silence has been deafening.

I have felt very alone in many aspects.  I've been navigating a lot- my Dad's death, my health issues, and a lot of big "ah-ha" realization moments that have been a heavy load.

Thankfully, I have the best husband.  Eliot is always there to listen, hold me while I cry, allow me to vent, and be the best partner.  I also have a few people who continue to reach out and check in on me... and I'm very grateful for that.  But it's these times when you realize how small your inner circle really is.  And it makes everything crystal clear.  

I’m not gonna sugar-coat it- I’m very burnt out.  It has finally become overwhelmingly obvious that you can’t pull water out of a dry well.  And I’ve been trying to do that for so long… I literally can't remember a time when I wasn't. 😕 

More recently, I’ve made a giant effort to fill my own cup first… and it’s been met with a lot of pushback. 🙁 But I keep reminding myself that airlines tell us to put on our own oxygen mask before helping others… so that’s what I’m trying to do from now on. 😊 

It’s okay to feel all the feels. 🧡💙❤️💜💛💚 

And it’s okay to not be okay. 💖

National Pink Day 💕

Happy National Pink Day!!! 💖💕💖 

If you've hung around here at all, you know that pink is my favorite color- whether it’s a bright, hot pink or a softer baby pink.  It's always called to me... so much that Eliot's and my wedding colors were lipstick (magenta) pink and lime.

Today I wanted to share a special photo with you.  These beautiful pink flowers at Mom and Dad’s house bloom every June right around their wedding anniversary. ✨ 

Last weekend, we went up to clean the house out some more- since we're planning to put it on the market in late summer/early fall.  I specifically picked this weekend; I knew it would be a hard one anyways due to cleaning the house.  But on top of that, Mom and Dad's wedding anniversary was last Thursday and Father's Day was on Sunday.  Still, I had to go this weekend in order to see these in bloom one last time.

As soon as we pulled into the driveway, I immediately looked across the front yard at the giant rhododendron bush, and there it was all of it’s beautiful glory. 🦋🌳🌸🐝 

I spent a lot of time watching that bush this weekend.  It had a lot of visitors... from little bees buzzing around, to butterflies fluttering around the flowers, to a small bird sitting on one of it's branches.  And of course there was me... I spent some extra time at it, photographing Mom and Dad's rhododendron bush, trying to capture as many of the delicate flowers with my phone camera as I could- praying the photos might do it justice.

This is probably the last time that we will ever see it in bloom, and I’m definitely in my feelings about it. 🙁 But Eliot and I have talked about getting a rhododendron bush for our yard… and I can only hope it will be as beautiful as this one. 🌸🌳🌸

National Melissa Day ✨💖✨

Happy National Melissa Day!!! ✨💖✨ 

If you missed the memo last year, that's correct... we get our own day on the calendar!  I guess it’s a pretty sweet perk for having a common name… 🤣

Anyone who knows me is aware that I don’t really give myself much fanfare at this point in my life.  So today, I wanted to share a special photo and a magical experience at Disneyland where I got to indulge myself for a few minutes. 👑 

The last day of our January trip, Eliot and I were running around trying to check off the rest of the boxes on our Disneyland 70th experience list.  One of the things we hadn't yet done, was take photos at Sleeping Beauty Castle.  I had a special outfit that I had planned out and purchased specifically for the occasion.  Eliot and I even made ourselves color coordinated and personalized Disneyland 70th mouse ears.

The line was long... but I wanted photos, so we braved it.  By the time we got to the front, I was keen to quickly take photos and get out of the way so others could have their turn.  What I wasn't expecting was for the Disney Photopass photographer to give me my own little mini session.  I assured him that it was ok to push me through quickly since the line was really long.  But he told me that I’d waited just as long as everyone else, and that I deserved a few extra minutes too; and he was right of course. 💕 

I’m so glad that Photopass photographer had me pose for a few extra pictures, because he captured this cute photo of me dressed up in my Disneyland 70th outfit with my personalized Melissa Disneyland Sign ears.  At the time, I had no idea how these would turn out, and I was so excited when I opened our account and stumbled across this.  

I love how he had me pose and how he framed me with Sleeping Beauty Castle in the background.  I'm so grateful for how hard I worked putting together my outfit, because it's color coordinated with all of the Disneyland 70th Anniversary Celebration decor perfectly.  And now this photo is one of my all-time favorites.  ✨💖💛💜💙✨

Happy 41st Birthday To Me ✨🎂✨

Happy Birthday to the most courageous person I know.  Another year has gone by and while it wasn’t my favorite, I survived it somehow.  This year, I’m feeling blessed to be where I’m at right now.  I’ve reached the 8 week post surgery mark.  While I’ve still had some stomach pain the past few weeks, I feel so much better overall.  And I can’t even begin to describe how much better things are today versus a year ago… 

The truth is, last year all I really wanted for my birthday was to disappear.  And as you know, that’s exactly what I did.  Eliot and I went away for two weeks to the only place I knew would heal me.  I didn’t feel good physically- although I still didn’t know why at the time.  I was emotionally drained out and I didn’t have the spoons for much of anything. And I wasn’t in a good place mentally… it felt like I’d lost myself somewhere along the way.  Basically, I desperately needed a lifeline and I took it.

I didn’t know it at the time, but those two weeks were the greatest gift I have ever given myself.  It was the reset I needed.  The kick in the pants to acknowledge that it was time to pour into my own cup.  Because after two weeks of magic, laughter, sunshine, theme parks, Christmas celebrations, genuine smiles, tropical islands and a spectacular cruise… I returned home a different person.  The little spark inside of me was back. And I needed that fire to get through all of the trials and tribulations that year 40 brought me.

So here’s to another new year… hopefully one with a lot less health issues, but one with more magic, laughter, sunshine and genuine smiles. °o° 

It's National Melissa Day ✨💖✨

Happy National Melissa Day!!!  ✨💖✨ 

Yup, that’s right… apparently my fellow Melissas and I have our own day!?! 🤣 Honestly, I didn't believe it at first.  I had randomly stumbled across a Facebook post that said "Happy National Melissa Day" a day after it had passed last year.  At the time, I looked it up online... and lo and behold, there it was.  It was a real thing!  So now that I know this random holiday exists... I intend to make sure that I remember to celebrate!!! 💕👑✨

I knew that the day was off to a good start when Eliot brought inside our mail before leaving for work.  The personalized Baublebar necklace that I'd bought a few weeks ago during their spring sale had arrived... a gold bubble necklace with my name and Mickey.

And since today is literally all about celebrating the Melissas in our lives, I decided that I would celebrate me by taking the day off from doing normal stuff. 💕 Things here have kind of been a hot mess lately... and I'm usually desperately trying to make it through my never ending to do list.  Instead of stressing about checking things off... I tried to spend some time this afternoon doing a few creative things I’ve been putting off. 🎨 

I've bought a lot of new beads and jewelry making supplies over the past few months, so I took a little bit of time today to sit down to organize them and put them all together into a bucket.  Then, I cracked open the colorful letter beads and strung together a few words and phrases to make into bracelets- including my name... because it is National Melissa Day after all. 😉 I had visions of actually making the friendship bracelets today, but I'll probably need to put the beads into containers before I can tackle that.  Still, this afternoon was very relaxing and creatively gratifying for me.

Hopefully I can carve out some more creative time for myself in the near future.  I see a lot of creativity, happiness and new friendship bracelets in my future… °o°

Creating Magic For the Magic Maker

It's now been four years since I embraced my destiny as a Magic Maker.  Since then, I've cherished the fact that I know creating things, making magic and giving joy to others is not only my purpose, but what truly what lights me up inside. ✨

And I'm glad I have that to fall into when the going gets tough... because after the past few years, there have been some pretty dark days when I've needed that knowledge.

During some of my hardest days, spending some time scrolling through Pinterest and getting ideas for projects has lifted me.  I've always had lists of creative ideas and even lists of my lists.  There's no way that I'll ever be able to make all of the things I've thought of... but it's the ideas, imagination and creativity that are most important to me.

This year, I'm hoping to expand upon products for Happily Ever Hatter and Snowblade Creations.  I've had a lot of ideas that Eliot and I haven't been able to dive into for one reason or another.  And I've got pretty solid ideas for a few more businesses... it's just a matter of making time, setting aside money for supplies and making the products.  So I'm sure that I'll find a way to keep myself busy making more magic! 💖

But what excites me most, is the promise to myself that I'll take more time for myself to create things for me.  After gifting myself a magical vacation for my 40th birthday, it's apparent to me that I need to make sure I'm also making magic for myself.  Even the Magic Maker needs some pixie dust sprinkled their way every once in a while. ✨

So cheers to many more years of bringing my magic into the world!!!  °o°

There's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, 2024 was a year of major adjustment for me.  I’ve experienced a lot of extreme highs and extreme lows this year.  But for the first time in forever… I feel good about the future and where I’m at right now.  The girl right here has returned to me, and this is what I want to take into the new year.

She’s happy, smiling, and a bright rainbow of sunshine.

I'll admit, she hasn't gotten the best treatment from me lately.  (And in reality, she hasn't gotten the best treatment from a lot of people through the years.)  She's put herself and a lot of her needs on the back-burner for far too long.  But she matters.  So going forward, my new motto is that "everything I do, I do it for you…" 

I do it for this girl, who lost most of her sparkle over the last two difficult years of her life.  The girl who thought she had everything… only to have the illusion ripped away from her.  The girl who at times felt like she’d lost absolutely everything… and she had, because she lost herself.  I do it for the girl who finally got her sparkle back when she was sprinkled with two weeks of magic and pixie dust.  I do it for the girl who left Maine a caterpillar and returned home from Florida a butterfly.

The biggest thing that I've learned this year is that you can't pump water from a dried up well.  I've been trying to pull from something that wasn't there... and this girl took the brunt of a lot of heat for it.  But still she tried to, and in the process, she learned better.

If I'm not nourishing myself and my own garden, I won't have the energy to tend to anyone else's garden.  And everyone is going to have to accept that.  I massively burnt myself out... so much so that I completely lost myself.  And now that my sparkle is back, I'm not going to let anyone or anything take it away from me.

Moving forward, this girl is who I want to be.  She's the most important person in my life.  She's the only person who will be with me from the day I was born until the day that I die.  She's the person who I do everything for... because she deserves it.  

May 2025 be her best year yet... filled with more happiness, smiles, and bright rainbows of sunshine.  Because "There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow, just a dream away!" °o°

Bonjour August

August 1st... wow.  Here we are welcoming the 8th month of the year and I think that I'm mentally still somewhere back in the spring.

It's officially been two and half months since I've checked in.  At some point, it probably won't look like that if I'm able to go back and write all of the posts I had planned.  But here in the present, I haven't written a blog post since May 15th.  And even then, my May posts feel like cop outs... it's been a while since I actually posted.

Eliot and I have been busy as usual... which I'm sure is no big surprise.  What's new is that we're navigating a lot of changes in our personal lives.  This past month has been a bit of a rollercoaster... and I can say that July wasn't my favorite.

I won't unpack it all right now, but let's just say that we're wading through uncharted waters.  Eliot and I have never really had health issues before, and this past month or so has brought to light a few things that we're now learning more about.  Both of us are adjusting to new medicines, new routines and new normals.

I'm not going to sugar coat it.  It's been pretty shitty... figuratively and literally.

Medications can bring on a whole new host of delightful side affects, and our bodies probably both feel like they're being metaphorically tortured.  And the fun part is that I'm not sure the worst has yet to come for me... so that's something to look forward to.

Anyways, I haven't really been in the state of mind, or body, to sit down and write.  I've spent a lot of time in bed napping... time that I had originally thought I'd be writing while trying to enjoy the nice, cool air conditioning in our living room.  The harsh reality is that I've been so busy (or not feeling well) that I haven't even missed writing.  I haven't even had the website open.  And up until this past week or so, I hadn't even checked on my blog post planning notes.  They were weeks old since I had updated anything on them... which is unheard of for me since I'm a planner and list maker.

While I haven't thought much about it the past two and a half months, I have missed my blog.  "Write Blog Posts" is on my daily to do list, but lately it's been nothing more than an item that gets deleted since I know it will be a small miracle if I can put a dent in the rest of my list of things that really need to get done.  I've slowly been making progress on that stuff, and I'm hoping that more time will miraculously find it's way to me... but there's always more stuff that needs to be added to it.  Still, I miss writing.

I'd like to say that I'm going to go back and write the 80 posts that I've missed since the beginning of the year... but the truth is that I just don't know anymore.

I knew I was behind, so I don't have much planned for August.  I'm hopeful that I'll be able to go back and write some of the things I'd planned... even if it's merchandise and holiday posts to begin with.  I never got anything done for my 10 year Blogiversary or Christmas in July.  Those both seem like huge tasks now, but I guess we'll see in time.

Right now, the most important thing is Eliot and me taking care of ourselves and each other.  And our next priorities are both businesses and trying to enjoy a bit of our summer.  Thankfully, we have been able to spend some time with friends and family when we've been feeling ok.  We have also caught a few Portland Sea Dogs games at the ballpark and some movies.  This summer hasn't been as spectacular as I had envisioned, but I'm thankful for all of the things we have been able to do.

I hope you have all been well and that you're enjoying your summer friends.  I will check back in as soon as I am able to.  °o°

On Top of the World

It's a beautiful sunshiny day.  The weather is gorgeous.  The birds are outside chirping and singing their joyful songs.  And I'm feeling on top of the world.

I've had a spectacular week.  Sure, I haven't gotten much cleaning done around the house.  There's a giant stack of dishes in our kitchen sink and I desperately need to do laundry.  I haven't checked tons of things off of my to do list.  Heck, at this point, I'm a few weeks behind in my blogging.  (If you like to read all of my posts, expect a giant post dump here at some point with posts from March, April and May.)

But still... I'm just feeling fine and fancy free.

Eliot and I just mailed out a giant stack of orders.  (We're talking over twenty products between both shops.)  Nowadays, it's not often that we're caught up on orders, or even dare I say... ahead.  We have been printing like crazy trying to stay on top of it in case one of my Key to the World Travel agent friends placed the larger order he inquired about for a conference that he's attending in June.  I've also been 3D printing like a maniac during the day when Eliot's been at work.  

Eliot jokes that I'm a crazy tyrant, but I get things done.  And now because of my incessant need to check and update our order list about 20 times a day, we're ahead on orders.  We're in such great shape that we have also started to print more samples of new designs... and nothing excites me like making new designs for our shops!

We finished our sewing class on Tuesday and I had the most productive session that I've had in quite a while.  (I'll post more about that in one of those blog dumps.)

We also just got both our federal and State of Maine tax refunds, so we've got a giant chunk of change in our bank accounts.  We're already budgeting it out so we can get necessities like oil and a new air conditioner.  But there will be plenty of money for fun things for the house like some shelves from IKEA, picture frames for our Disney art and other small products that I've been waiting to purchase.  Plus, this means that I'll finally be able to buy a few supplies for my new product ideas!

Things with our businesses, personal lives and the house are all in great shape.  The only downside of all the forward progress we've made with these is that I'm majorly behind in my blogging.  Years from now... you won't know it because the posts will be there and dated as if they always were.  But right now, I know that I'm behind in them.

Old blogging Melissa would have been having a fit at how far behind I am.  I would be feeling guilty and awful about myself for getting behind.  But 2023 Melissa is proud of all she's accomplished, and is excited for all of the steps we have taken to get to where we currently are with everything else.  Life is a balancing act, and while it's never easy, I'm getting a lot better at it.  And I'm also a lot better about allowing myself grace.

So I just had to pop in quickly while I was experiencing this high.  Hopefully, I'll have a lot to share with you soon.  I'll definitely be back to posting regularly as soon as I can be.  Once it's really hot, I won't be able to do much other than sit in front of the air conditioner working on my laptop anyways!  I'm sure I'll be caught back up in no time!

For now, I'm going to keep working on the house and all of these new samples that are scattered around in various stages of completion.  Have a great weekend friends!!!  °o°

Let’s Get Down To Business

Happy first day of April everyone!  Today might be April Fools Day according to the calendar, but there are no jokes about it.  It's time to get down to business.

The past few months have been a struggle and I've lacked a desire to do much.  I've rode out the emotional rollercoaster of losing Nana and seasonal depression.  Then, Eliot and I actually spent most of March sick so we didn't get too much done.  Now that both of us are finally feeling better and my motivation is coming back, I've come to the realization that it's already April.  I feel like I've wasted my winter months... and I feel a very strong need to make forward progress, so that's how I'm going to spend my April.

I know, I know, I've said this before.  But this time, I really need to mean it.  There's so much that needs to get done.  My to do list is constantly getting longer.  Besides, our consistent warm weather is still a few weeks away, so there's time to get ahead on some of these things before I want to spend more of my time outside!

My main focus is going to be on the house.  Eliot and I have made some progress the past few months.  But I want to push that even farther forward.  I've got too many projects to list, but I'm feeling good about being able to make progress at this point.

I'm also hoping to make some progress with our businesses.  I've said it all time and again- so I won't list everything out... but as you already know, I'm hoping to get some new products into development.  I also need to clear my worktable off and get a few of these old samples finished.  I think finishing some of the unfinished projects will both physically and mentally make room for the new stuff.  I'm sure it'll be exciting!

Of course, all of this means that I probably won't be hanging out around here much... but that's ok!  As much as I love writing, and I can't seem to keep myself away from my blog (even when I try to), I really need to get these other things done.

I won't be gone completely either.  I still have to get caught back up on old posts.  I said that I was going to do that in March but then I wrote a bunch of new ones.  So I really need to get myself focused this month!  I have posts from earlier this year and a few more for last year that I'd really like to get done before I start to focus on new things around here.  I've got some new segments and things that I'd like to introduce, so it's time to finish and release the old stuff so I can start to focus on new stuff!

I'm feeling really good about this decision and forcing myself to shift my focus for this month.  Hopefully, I'll come back next month feeling accomplished after making some progress!  Plus, maybe I'll get some projects done for our house and new designs for the businesses that I can share here at a later date when I have time!

Let’s Get Down To Business!  °o°

Springing Ahead

I think it's no secret that I feel like I've been in a rut lately.  Our 2023 has already held a myriad of ups and downs.  Most recently, Eliot and I have spent most of March sick with upper respiratory infections.  Eliot has had almost two straight weeks of all-day meetings at work.  We've gotten behind in a few of our orders, behind in normal life stuff and we're barely getting any sleep.  I've also been battling some grief and gloom. 

However, today suddenly feels like a giant breath of fresh air.  The First Day of Spring was yesterday, and it's like it shook the cobwebs out of me a bit.  It almost feels like I'm springing ahead into a new season and a better place... and I hope that feeling stays.

And this probably sounds super lame, but I feel really accomplished over a few small things that Eliot and I have been putting off.  We've both been so busy that gotten behind in normal house maintenance stuff.  Our guest sink has been mildly clogged and our kitchen sink also has a clog... although it's a bit more serious.  And every time we take a shower, we're standing in a few inches of water.

Over the weekend, we bought vinegar and baking soda.  I decided that I was going to try to tackle the clogs without using Drano unless it was absolutely necessary.  So I went to work.  The guest sink was fine after one round.  The shower was not working... and I was resigned that it would probably need Drano or to be manually unclogged.

The kitchen sink is another story.  I used way too much baking soda, so instead of bubbling and cleaning the blockage, it got even more clogged.  I ended up using a straw to try to pull out and remove as much of the baking soda as possible.  It worked, but the clog still there.  Then, somewhere in the depths of my memory, I recalled myself having a plunger in the sink a few years ago when we had another clog.

I set to work looking under the sink, which is a mess right now.  (Dad and Eliot repaired the dishwasher and when they reconnected the drainage pipe, Dad didn't snake it through the back like it was originally.  So now it's in the way and everything is just shoved in there instead of being organized.  Another project for another day... but I digress.)  Thankfully, I was able to locate the toilet plunger that we bought specifically for, and dedicated to, only using in the sinks.

After about a minute or two, I got the drain fully cleared and the water disappeared!

Feeling good about getting that fixed, I decided to try the same method for the shower before resorting to the Drano.  This morning, while I was showering, I used the plunger and it was obvious after only a few seconds that it was doing something.  I kept at it a few times, and before I knew it, I could hear the water draining!  Success!

Again, totally lame, but we've all been there.  Home ownership has many situations, and sometimes you just don't have time or feel like dealing with them.  But after the success of these few small projects, I'm feeling pretty accomplished.

I also checked another thing off of my to do list this morning.  Earlier today, I missed the first half of sewing class so I could help with Eliot's race registration for the 2023 Wine and Dine race this November.  I'll save all of the details for another post, but it felt good to know that he got into his challenge, especially since he was supposed to be in a meeting during registration so he couldn't sign himself up like he usually would.

Most importantly, it feels like my motivation is back.  I haven't felt much like cleaning and organizing the past few months.  And earlier this month when I was really sick, I didn't feel like doing much of anything.  I was getting into a funk where I felt like I was wasting my days, even though I was still finishing plenty of things.  I just wasn't making much forward progress on the big picture items.  But any progress is still progress...  

However, now that I'm feeling accomplished and a sense of actual motivation, it feels like I might finally be moving forward.  After feeling like I haven't gotten much done the past few weeks, it suddenly feels like I'm making a bit of progress... no matter how big or how small.  And that feels really good after the cloud that's been looming over me.  

Maybe the Spring will be a time for renewal and refocusing for me, and I'm certainly ready to spring ahead into that new chapter.  °o°

March Sadness

Tonight marks one week since Timo Meier got traded to the New Jersey Devils.  I wish I could say I'm over it and that I've moved on, but it's far from the truth.  

The past week has been painful... in more ways than one.  It started off with the Timo trade, and ended with what would have been Papa's 90th birthday... the first one that's happened since we also lost Nana.  So I've been in a depressive funk all week.  

And to top it off, I have a massive head cold that started setting in Thursday morning and has only manifested as complete misery this weekend.  What was going to be a productive weekend cleaning and organizing the house has turned into me sitting on the couch barely moving.  Severe runny nose, sneezing, coughing, major congestion... basically, the only bright side is that I've tested negative for COVID, twice.

I feel like I've completely wasted this weekend, even though there isn't much that I can do about it.  Eliot and I were in San Jose last weekend, and I had a million things I wanted to get done.  My parents were originally going to be visiting, but when they cancelled their trip due to the massive snowstorm we got yesterday, all I could think about was how much Eliot and I would be able to get accomplished.  Now here I sit... sick and not getting anything done.  Blah... 

My mood hasn't been great either.  I'm still salty about the Timo trade.  I absolutely hate the trade deadline.  The Sharks traded Mikey Eyssimont to the Tampa Bay Lightning mid-week.  He had showed promise the past 20 games with us- and had been playing on our top line.  Then, they traded Nick Bonino to the Pittsburg Penguins right after our Thursday night game.  (He was literally hugging Sharks goalie James Reimer out in the hallway- presumably right after he found out.)  Thankfully, those were the only other guys we lost before the trade deadline... but it still sucks.

Right now, about half the team are people we don't know.  Watching the Sharks the past few games has pretty much been a nightmare.  In the past two games, we've had a 2-0 lead... only to completely blow it in the 2nd and 3rd periods.  We just ended our longest home game stand with one win, five losses and one point from overtime (for the Chicago game Eliot and I went to in San Jose when we lost in the shoot out).  

It's depressing... and it's even more depressing that this is probably what things are going to look like for a while.  I'd be upset anyways about losing Timo, but by sending him elsewhere, it's like we're truly signing on to the rebuild.  As Sharks fans, we have been spoiled a lot over how much we've made the playoffs since we joined the league in 1991.  Now we are potentially looking at a multiyear rebuild.  Eliot and I are Sharks fans through and through... but I think this is going to be pretty painful. 

The only bright light on the horizon for the rest of today is that Timo might make his debut as a New Jersey Devil in their game against the Arizona Coyotes tonight at 7 PM.  As sad as I am that he's no longer in teal, I do feel happy that he's now on a playoff bound team.  Plus, the New Jersey Devils organization and the fans seem really happy to have him.  Eliot and I have watched two New Jersey games this week, hoping we'd see Timo, and they were ecstatic about it.  Apparently, Devil fans were literally chanting "We Want Timo" in the stands at a few of the games before the trade.

It still hurts that he is no longer a Shark, but I'm getting more accustomed to it.  During the first Devils game that Eliot and I watched the other day, they interviewed Timo during the 2nd intermission.  He seemed happy and excited to join their organization.  I also read an article about another interview where he said he was excited to get to work to help them on their way to the playoffs.  Seeing as the Sharks won't be in the playoffs for a while... this is a better position for him to be in.

Plus, the New Jersey Devils fans and their social media are absolutely thrilled to have Timo.  Seeing how welcoming they've been to him makes me feel better.  Truthfully, it's been nice to watch a team that's winning their hockey games.  The Devils are third in the entire league right now.  (Only behind Boston at #1 and Carolina at #2.)

So this is my life now.  It's weird... I feel like I'm suffering through painful Sharks games yet I'm excited to watch the New Jersey Devils.  It's twilight-zone like, but I guess this is what things are going to look like for a while now.  At least Eliot and I have plenty of former Sharks on playoff bound teams that we can root for!

Anyways, I guess you could say that my March isn't really off to a great start so far, but hopefully it will get better.  I'm hoping that my head cold goes away soon, so I can get off my butt and start actually getting some stuff done.  I think that will make me feel better once I can check some stuff off of my to do list.  I would really like to turn this March Sadness into March Cleaning and Organizing Madness!  °o°

Happy 90th Birthday Papa

Well, here we are... on a day that used to bring me such love and light.  I haven't been looking forward to it this year.  Not one bit.  Not at all actually... 

Today would have been my Papa's 90th birthday.

Today also marks the exact date that Nana's been gone for two months... 

So no, today isn't really something that I've been looking forward to.  It's been a dark mark on the calendar that we have slowly been marching towards.  But it's here now...

Man, this week has really sucked.  I keep trying to find the bright side of things, but my optimism is kind of failing me.  I just can't get out of the funk this week.  I keep trying to tell myself that at least Nana and Papa are together again.  But all that makes me think is that I wish they were together here with us.  Then I get sad, angry, and depressed... 

Then the cycle begins all over again.

Eliot and I still haven't seen my parents since Christmas.  So much has happened and we haven't even gotten that over with.  We've seen Eliot's family who lives in California twice in the time since we saw Mom and Dad.  Jeremy has been home twice already... so he's already gotten the whole seeing our parents and 'going home to the house without Nana in it anymore' thing over with... twice.  I feel like I'm sitting outside of this secret society just waiting for the moment when we'll have our time.

The moment when this is all real and not some horrible bad dream.  The moment when my heart is completely shattered into a million little pieces.

Yeah... super looking forward to that.  Not.

Grief hits everyone differently, and I know that I'm not immune.  For the most part, I have basically tried to repress any feelings that I've had.  It's probably not healthy, but I really don't know what else to do.  I can't change the fact that Nana isn't here with us anymore.  I'm comforted knowing she was almost 90 and that she lived a wonderful life.  I also feel proud that we did so much with her after Papa died.  She could have given up but instead she went to Walt Disney World again, twice.  We took her on not one, but two Disney Cruises.  We also drove with her to Virginia and back.

I'm ok with the fact that my 90 year old grandmother lived her life to the fullest and that it was her time to go.  But I'm struggling with other things that I probably shouldn't be.  

I'm definitely taking the Timo Meier trade harder than I should be.  And I know that it's misplaced grief, or whatever the fancy term for it is.  Eliot told me the other day that I've cried more about Timo being traded than I did about Nana dying... and that made me cry even more.  Because even though the two have absolutely nothing to do with each other, somehow, they're completely intertwined in my pile of grief.  Losing Timo from the Sharks isn't the end of the world... but when I was already feeling fragile to begin with, it was devastating.  And I can't seem to untangle it.

I'm trying to be kind to myself.  I cognitively know that grief is a rollercoaster that you just have to buckle up for.  It hits in waves that you won't see coming.

And the only small solace that I can find in this complete pile of hell, is that today used to be a day filled with joy.  My Nana and Papa were everything to me.  And although they are gone now, I have so many wonderful memories with them that I cherish.

Happy 90th Birthday Papa.  I hope you and Nana are celebrating together with lots of playful bickering, laughter and chocolate cake.  We miss you both terribly and wish you were here.  But I'm glad that you're at least together.  I love you.  °o°

Time is Ticking...

Hello March!  You have successfully snuck up on me yet again.

The month of February is always short, and it's usually this time of the year when I realize how quickly time goes by.  We are already two months into 2023 and I feel like I've barely scratched the surface of my goals... and 1/6 of the year is over!  Time just keeps ticking on and the calendar keeps marching forward...   

Time has been on my mind a lot the past few days.  Obviously, after losing Timo there have been a lot of "It's Timo Time!" in New Jersey and farewells to "Timo Time" in San Jose posts all over social media.  Between losing my Nana back in January, and now Timo leaving the Sharks, I have a renewed appreciation that time is precious.  You never know when things are going to change... whether it's something major like losing a loved one or something less drastic like saying goodbye to your favorite player.

Thus, I'm starting March off with a mission... to get things done that I've wanted to for a while now.  Lately, I feel like my wheels are spinning and I'm not getting anywhere.  I've been getting stuff checked off of my to do list, which is good since I was struggling at the beginning of February.  But that's not enough.  I'm getting all of the "normal" stuff accomplished, but now I'm hoping to make strides forward.

I think my March is going to be a bit of stepping back, and moving ahead... at least in regards to my blog.  I'm still really behind in blog posts.  I have about 15 from 2022 that I want to finish.  Then, there's another 5 from January and 10 from February.  So that's 30 blog posts to get caught up on.  Thus, I'm going to be scaling back on writing new blog posts- which would have happened anyways since I'm working on shifting my gears anyways.  I'm going to focus on getting the old ones done and published, before I fill my March calendar with a bunch of things.

I'll still be writing content.  I have bucket lists from our Walt Disney World trip and a few other things that I want to write about.  But I've intentionally left most of my March and April blog calendars blank so I can get caught up.

Plus, I'm really trying to focus on the house.  Spring will be here before we know it, and I'll want to spend more time outside.  I really want to get the house cleaned, organized, house projects finished and to work on decorating.  If we're going to get puppies this year, we really need to get this stuff accomplished before we can move ahead on that.

I also need to shift my focus to our businesses.  To put it simply, Eliot and I need to make more money.  Sales for Happily Ever Hatter and Snowblade Creations have been good, but I want them to be great.  Numbers are still in the same range as we had expected, but they're not as good as I'd like them to be.  I've got a bunch of ideas for new products that we'd like to start making and releasing this year.  I'm hoping that those and some new designs will help boost our numbers.

Eliot and I both also have a few other ideas for new businesses.  I've got my hands in a lot of different cookie jars right now.  So my next big goal is to sit down and figure out what businesses make sense to launch first.  I'm working on an overall plan for 2023, so I can figure out where my focus needs to be each month.  Hopefully, by the time 2023 is over, we'll have a few more businesses that are also in the mix!

March promises to be a busy month with a lot of things going on, but it will be a good thing.  When I was a kid, March always dragged on since it wasn't full-on winter, but it also wasn't really warm and spring yet either.  My parents were busy with taxes, and the month seemed like it was forever.  Nowadays, it usually flies by, so hopefully we'll be able to get plenty of things accomplished before time ticks away...  °o°

New Beginnings

Hello February and hello to another new chapter in the adventure of life.

This morning, I woke up feeling refreshed, motivated, and ready... something that I've been struggling with the past few weeks since we returned from Florida.  New Years is always a time of fresh beginnings and setting goals.  However, due to our trip to Walt Disney World and everything leading up to it, I've found myself feeling behind in the whole "new year fresh start" schedule.  It wasn't even until Jeremy's birthday back on January 23rd that I actually finalized my 2023 goals.

But, all that is behind us now.  My goals are set, and now I feel motivated to dive in...

I'll still be posting my 2023 goals back in January when I have a minute.  I still need to finish a ton of blog posts from November, December and January.  I'm still very much behind, but I'm being kind to myself instead of freaking out over it like I used to.  

Grief is a hard thing to navigate.  Looking back at when we lost Papa, I was in a funk for months.  I don't think I felt like myself again until June.  This time with losing Nana is similar, but at the same time totally different.  I have moments of complete focus and motivation and I want to dive in head first.  Other days, I just want to sit on the couch and watch tv.  Above all, I'm just trying to be kind to myself in each moment.

And I think it's paying off.  I'm still very easily distracted, but I've found some of my lost focus the past few days.  I've been more productive this week than I have been since Eliot and I got from Florida.  I've been working on a lot this week: orders for Happily Ever Hatter and Snowblade Creations, unpacking, getting caught up on cleaning, and trying to make headway on some house organizing.

I'm getting back in my groove and that feels really good.  Plus, flipping the calendar to another month feels like a good thing.  While I'm sad to see our Walt Disney World trip disappear from my calendar white board (front and center on the fridge), I'm excited to put January 2023 behind me and to try to move forward.

Welcome February... may you hold wonderful new beginnings in your future.  °o°