You Are Stronger Than Your Pain 💛🎗🌻

It’s one week out from my endometriosis excision surgery. 💛🎗🌻  

I’m at the point now where anxiety is slowly creeping in… but I’ve been keeping busy with my never ending to do lists.  It’s been a little stressful, but it’s also kept me busy so I haven’t overthought things.

I feel like a squirrel gathering stuff and tucking it all away to prepare for the coming season.  I’ve got my bag of post-op medications and my special pre-op shower wash set aside.  My giant pile of post-op stuff to help keep me comfortable is in my Amazon cart- ready to be purchased this evening.  I’ve got a list of activities, crafts, books, and movies to keep me busy.  I’ve made a list of things that Eliot and I need to get done before we leave for MA on Sunday.  And I’ve already prepared Etsy away messages, all of my social media posts for both the businesses, and we’re well on our way to getting a few more orders out before I go in recovery mode.  I’ve got lists everywhere.  Basically I’m Santa making lists and checking them twice (and then a few more times).  It’s all been very overwhelming… so today I wanted to share a positive note.

Over the past six months, I’ve probably had a million thoughts go through my head on this journey from an official diagnosis to surgery.  But one phrase has stood out more than others.  You’ve all probably come to the conclusion by now that mouse ears are part of my love language.  So a few weeks ago, I asked Eliot to make this design that I could wear to the Sunflower Festival. 🌻

These special mouse ears were originally born from a place of hurt and pain, but now they are my symbol of hope. 💕 They are a love letter to myself and to all of my Endo Warrior sisters. 🎗 You ARE stronger than your pain… even when it doesn’t feel like it.

There have been days when I thought the pain would consume me.  Days when I was depressed and I didn’t even want to get out of bed to keep trying anymore.  Days when I wanted to give up fighting to be heard, believed and taken seriously.  Days when everything felt like too much.  But all the while, a little voice inside of me kept telling me to push forward… even when it felt like I was drowning.  Because deep down I knew that I was stronger than this and I wasn’t going to let it take over my entire life.  

Is endometriosis a part of me now… yes.  Are there days when it’s in the driver’s seat… yes.  Will there be more of those days in the future… probably.  But I’m not going to let it have complete control over me anymore… because even on the bad days I know that I AM stronger than my pain.  And here’s hoping it’s that positive energy that powers me through this next week of waiting and through my surgery and recovery. 💛🎗🌻