Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Farewell to My Fairy Godmother

As I mentioned yesterday, I've really needed a break from everything.  What I didn't tell you, was one of the reasons the past few weeks have been so awful.  I told you that Nana was sick when I wrote about Christmas, but what I didn't tell you was how bad it was.  When we left Trenton after Christmas, Jeremy, Eliot and I were all pretty certain that was the last time we'd see Nana.  And it was breaking my heart.

Self-preservation is a funny thing; the human brain will close off memories or emotions when we’re unable to process them.  I’ve avoided posting anything and have been 100% focused on the tasks in front of me… finishing my 10K, taking a much needed break, and trying to enjoy our two week vacation at Walt Disney World.  The "Disney Bubble” was my safe haven, but you can’t run from the real world forever.  Now that Eliot and I have been home for a couple of days, I've decided that it’s time to take the box off of the shelf and unpack some raw emotion. 


Two weeks ago, on January 4th, 2023, my Fairy Godmother completed her mission here on Earth… and was promoted with angel wings.  

As you've probably gathered from my posts, my Nana was everything to me.  Leaving Maine to go down to Florida was probably one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done in my life.  Eliot and I knew there was a high possibility that we’d receive the news while we were on our trip, but I knew that Nana would want us to go.  And looking back at how everything unfolded, I think this is exactly what she wanted.

Walt Disney World has always been magic to me, and I’ve shared so many wonderful memories with her and Papa there.  In fact, the last memories I have with Papa were during our trip for marathon weekend of 2015.  It seems fitting that we’d lose her during marathon weekend years later.  Nana and Papa both loved Walt Disney World so much, and they knew how special it is to me.


I think Nana also knew how devastated I'd be when we finally lost her.  I have dreaded this day for 38 years.  She’s been a second mother to me, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my biggest cheerleader, and so special to me that the only way I’ve found to describe her was my Fairy Godmother.

Her final gift to me was leaving us when she knew that I’d be ok.  Somehow, the magic and the memories from so many of our Disney trips would envelop me and cocoon me through those initial days of grief.  Now that we’re home, I feel a bit unprotected as the waves crash over me.  But I know that I’ll be ok… because now I’ll always have a Fairy Godmother with angel wings looking over me.  °o°

2 comments:

  1. So sorry Melissa. May your memories comfort you ( jmv)

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    1. Thanks so much JMV!!! 💕 It's been a rough few weeks, but we're hanging in. 😞 I don't think it's really hit us yet though- we still haven't seen my parents or gone home. 🙁 -Melissa (I can't seem to get the website to show that it's me so it's showing up as anonymous.)

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